“After one win in our last six group stage matches, this one will be a stroll” say English media

The English media were today struggling to contain their giggles at how easy England’s World Cup group is going to be, despite the team’s desperately poor record in the past two World Cup group stages.

England have beaten Slovenia and failed to beat the US, Algeria, Italy, Uruguay and Costa Rica in the last two World Cup group stages, but critics point out that if Wayne Rooney had been fully fit, if Brazil wasn’t so hot and South Africa so mountainous, their record would surely have been six wins out of six.

One newspaper today wrote: “God knows how Tunisia and Panama qualified for the World Cup. We surely doubt they triumphed in a competitive qualification system, they probably found golden FIFA tickets in chocolate bars.

“Tunisia’s best player is from Sunderland. Lol!”

The newspaper added that Tunisia and Panama are nothing like their two similarly sized neighbouring countries, Algeria and Costa Rica, who England both drew 0-0 with in the 2010 and 2014 group stages.

“Any comparisons are completely unfair. Algeria and Costa Rica turned out to be excellent football teams, although of course before we played them we assumed they were both joke entrants.

“Anyway, this time we are even luckier, as not only is the group stage sure to be easy, our second round opponents are likely to be easy too – just like in the Euros when we drew Iceland!”

Image courtesy of Jason Bagley via Wikimedia Commons

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