Arsenal to extend Arsene Wenger’s contract by eight years just to see Piers Morgan’s reaction

Arsenal are planning to extend Arsene Wenger’s contract by another eight years, purely so they can laugh at celebrity fan Piers Morgan going absolutely nuts on Twitter.

Arsenal chief executive Ivan Gazidis said: “Okay, even I would want Arsene to be well settled into a retirement home, sipping Merlot and watching DVDs of Ligue 1 matches by 2025, but could you imagine what Piers Morgan would say if we announced otherwise?

“I doubt the term ‘going apesh*t’ would come anywhere close to covering it. How could we resist?”

Morgan is a 51-year-old entertainer best known for inventing the #wengerout hashtag in 1987 during Wenger’s troubled third season in charge of Nancy.

He has since collected millions of Twitter followers who enjoy his hysterical reactions to the setbacks frequently suffered by his beloved Arsenal.

Friends of Morgan were horrified to hear of Gazidis’s plans.

Morgan has called many times for Wenger to be replaced in the Arsenal hotseat.

He recently pledged to hold a demonstration should Wenger’s contract, which expires in the summer, be extended by any time at all.

Morgan says he will wrap his body in Arsenal scarves from the 2003/04 Invincibles’ Season, sit down on the point of an Islington garden where the centre spot of Highbury was located, and publicly disembowel himself before arranging his organs in a straight line to represent a Winterburn-Adams-Bould-Dixon offside trap.

Image courtesy of Gordon Flood via Wikimedia Commons

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