Breaking: West Brom appoint Alan Pardew on two-week contract

West Brom have confirmed the appointment of Alan Pardew on a two-week contract.

Chairman John Williams unveiled the 56-year-old managerial hot shot to the media today, saying:

“We have three matches in the next two weeks, which should be enough for Alan to go on his usual dizzy run of success with a win, followed by a disastrous run of form with a defeat – plus one more game in which the questions can mount and he can respond with a dance and/or headbutt on the touchline.

“Of course we’d be happy to review the situation at the end of the two-week period and possibly give him another couple of weeks.

“By that time, Big Sam might be available again, or David Moyes, or Marco Silva might have joined and then quit Barcelona – so we have decided to keep our options open.”

Pardew said: “I’m just going to take it one match at a time, and see if we can do the little things right to turn this club’s November around.

“Then you never know, Chelsea might sack Conte and come calling for me in a couple of weeks if I play my cards right.”

Image courtesy Brian Minkoff-London Pixels via Wikimedia Commons

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