Comic Relief to hire David Moyes after ‘joke’ threat to slap female reporter

Comic Relief have announced that they are to hire David Moyes to take part in its next Red Nose Day following the Sunderland manager’s ‘edgy’ joke about slapping a female reporter.

Moyes warned a reporter to be “careful” and joked she might get a slap “even though you’re a woman” after she asked what he said were “naughty questions” about whether his job is under pressure.

With many saying the joke proves Moyes has just as much talent for comedy as he does for football management, Comic Relief are keen to draft in the Scottish manager.

The Glaswegian manager has apparently started to draft his first appeal for the next Red Nose Day, and is expected to say, in a hard-hitting video:

“Come on ye tight gits watching at home, won’t you get off your fat arses for once and ring us up to give us some money.

“If you don’t give us at least a tenner by the end of the show, I’ll personally come round and shove your remote up your arse.

“That applies especially to you old folk sitting around shrinking by the day in your big houses with your spare bedrooms while you fritter away your pension on booze, ye daft bunch!”

Comic Relief has been looking for ways to rejuvenate its showcase event after poor viewing figures were recorded for last month’s Red Nose Day.

Several angry newspaper columnists said the event was struggling as it wasn’t as funny as it used to be, but there was also plenty of competition for viewers.

Channel 5 broadcast a four-hour show called ‘Sunderland’s Biggest Defensive Bloopers of the Season’ on the same night, which many TV critics called the funniest thing ever.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *