Exhausted fantasy football managers demand winter break

The nation’s fantasy football managers have called for the introduction of a winter break to prevent a reoccurrence of the dangerous exhaustion many have suffered in recent days.

Tom Wilson, a leading fantasy football manager who is known for a number of innovations in the game, including the smutty pun team name, says:

“It’s just relentless. It can’t be good for anyone. I was left in the impossible position at 7pm on New Year’s Eve of having to gauge Kevin De Bruyne’s injury and Harry Kane’s illness in time for an 11:30 deadline on New Year’s Day.

“No full-time job would ever put you in that position. I got to a party on New Year’s Eve, went on my phone, and by the time I’d finished googling potential signings it was 4am and I was being kicked out.

“I’ve never been one to speak out before, but now it’s time. I’ve started campaigning by liking a few Facebook and Twitter posts calling for a winter break, and if that doesn’t do anything I’m ready for direct action – including writing my own post.”

Traditionalists dismissed calls for a winter break, however. Veteran fantasy football manager Graham Ball said:

“Honestly, winter break? What’s the world coming to? I remember the big freeze of 2010/11. No mobile version of the website back then, it would take ages to load, all of Blackpool’s home games were postponed and I captained Charlie Adam – but did I complain?

“Winter break? They’re a bunch of cornflakes, the lot of ’em.”

Image courtesy of Michael Coghlan via Flickr

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