FIFA’s entire headquarters has disappeared into a puff of smoke after its president Gianni Infantino declared victory in its mission to rid football of all problems.
In an emotional address to the latest FIFA congress, Infantino said:
“Greetings earthlings – and John Delaney.
“It is my pleasure to announce to you all today that our mission on this planet is over.
“Racism and corruption – the problems I came here to rid our beautiful game from, have been completely solved by our amazing taskforces.
“In every corner of the world – with the possible exception of Athlone – everyone can play fair, free and, most importantly, profitable football.
“Next year’s World Cup will be the first to receive total TV penetration – meaning even unborn children and the recently deceased will watch the tournament.
“We have all the world’s major companies sponsoring the tournament, and others are even paying us not to sponsor it.
“We don’t have to do a thing anymore to make money.”
Camera footage then shows steam coming out of Infantino’s head before he, and the rest of FIFA HQ disappears after a large flash of light.
Seconds later, smoke is seen rising from a muddy field in Switzerland, strewn with gold bars, as a cattle farmer approaches to see what has been left behind by FIFA.
Image courtesy of Juerg.hug via Wikimedia Commons