The football gods were this afternoon plotting who to screw over next after Syria went within a post of knocking Australia out to reach a World Cup play-off.
Syria’s Al-Soma smashed a free-kick against the woodwork with two minutes remaining in extra time. Had the goal gone on, the war-ravaged country would have beaten Australia on away goals.
A heavenly source close to the gods of the game said:
“They’re already working on a quite achievable plan of making England sneak through to the latter stages of the World Cup, sending expectations sky rocketing, before they are totally embarrassed by Germany, France or Spain.
“Another idea is to ruin Leicester’s title win by retroactively framing Claudio Ranieri for match fixing – I like that as it’s particularly mean.
“Getting Spurs to within a point or two of the title is one that is always floated about – as is allowing Atletico Madrid to finally beat Real in the Champions League before being knocked out in the following round.
“There’s just so many teams to toy with – and while they work on those plans they’ll be having more fun stopping Crystal Palace from scoring for as long as possible. Even though you don’t really need divine powers for that one.”
Image courtesy of Tasnim News Agency via Wikimedia Commons