Fourth place more likely to be decided by tooth fairy than Champions League play-off

Fourth place is more likely to be decided by the tooth fairy than a Champions League play-off, an analysis has revealed.

Liverpool and Arsenal have around a one in 600 chance of being completely tied for fourth place – Liverpool need to lose 0-2 at home to Middlesbrough and Arsenal need to draw 1-1 at Everton for this to happen.

Journalist Tom Wilson has calculated, however, that a spike in the loss of milk teeth a month after Easter make it more likely than not the tooth fairy will be in the Liverpool area on Sunday afternoon.

Should a child lose a tooth at Anfield, she may well visit the stadium itself – which Wilson rates as being a one in 10 possibility given the amount of crap kids eat these days.

If this happens, Wilson reckons the fairy might take exception to the amount of middle aged men getting excited about the remote prospect of a play-off.

She could then try to influence the match by forcing Daniel Sturridge off the pitch with toothache or planting gold coins in one of the goalmouths.

Wilson rates this eventuality as a one in 200 chance – and therefore much more likely than a play-off.

Wilson says: “This might come as disappointing news to the newspaper editors who are filling space with empty Champions League play-off speculation, mostly because everything else is already decided.

“I know a lot of neutral fans also liked the idea of a novelty end-of-season match with a big prize at stake.

“In which case I suggest they try watching the FA Cup, Championship play-off and Champions League finals.”

Image courtesy of Mike Beales via Flickr

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *