Frank de Boer vows to transform Crystal Palace into experimental indie band

New Crystal Palace Frank de Boer has promised to transform the club to the extent that they become an experimental indie band.

De Boer has not been shy of voicing criticism of predecessor Sam Allardyce’s unspectacular playing style, and says he will bring the kind of entertainment back to Selhurst Park that has not been seen since a Stone Roses concert there in 1993.

“Let’s face it, we’re not that great at this football thing,” said the Dutchman. “Sure, we’re good for a few big wins every season, but the best we could ever possibly hope for is the Europa League.”

“I want to put some soul back into this club, and we should be looking to make music for that, in my opinion.

“I’m talking about Radiohead, early Muse, The Eels, Moby. We can call ourselves The Eagles, if that band name isn’t taken already.”

De Boer is putting his squad through a crash course in music over the summer. James Tomkins and Wilfried Zaha are expected to be vocalists, with Jason Puncheon on bass and Christian Benteke on drums.

Image courtesy of Paul Luberti via Wikimedia Commons

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