Sky Sources have confirmed they couldn’t care less who Romelu Lukaku signs for as they are on the sauce at a barbecue this afternoon.
The sources said: “We’re having a piss-up in the head source’s garden, we’ve got Wimbledon on the telly and a couple of the sources have just turned up with some nice juicy packs of burgers.
“We couldn’t care less about Lukaku to be honest. He’s gonna go to Man U or Chelsea for big wads of cash, and the other club is going to produce similar wads of cash to sign some other big name striker.
“What’s the point driving around the country in a stuffy car in a damn heatwave chasing his agent all in the hope of getting some cryptic comment to tweet out.
“The lad will move when he’s ready, and until then, cheers!”
Image courtesy of Александр Осипов via Wikimedia Commons