Sunderland have asked the Premier League to relegate them immediately to spare their miserable season ending with a barely audible micro-whimper.
While the Wearsiders could still finish on 39 points if they win all of their last six matches of the season, hope has long since evaporated that they can beat the drop.
When asked about his expectations for the last five weeks of the season, Moyes said: “Christ, you mean to tell me we’ve got another five weeks of this?
“Five more weeks for Wahbi Khazri to prove that I should have been picking him all along?
“Five more weeks for Defoe to think about who he’s going to play for next season?
“Five more weeks of me going around the country trying not to offend any journalists – including women?
“Can’t we just stop now? We could all go to New York again to bond ahead of the Championship season, and all the fans could just concentrate on supporting whoever Newcastle play in the faint hope that they don’t get promoted?”
Image courtesy of vagueonthehow via Flickr